To have a Friend you must be a Friend…

Friendship goes two ways. You can’t be a ONE-SIDED FRIEND! Some people only want friends so that they can have someone to do things for them or to side with them (even when they are wrong). Friendship is much more than a selfish notion and it also comes with self-sacrifice. That is why many people say that they have very few friends and a lot of associates. I have looked at people who say they don’t have many friends. I began to look at their personality and their demeanor and I have come to realize that the reason they don’t have friends is because they haven’t proven themselves FRIEND WORTHY!

Psychology today talks about: How to attract true friends. It states:

This one is easy, at least on paper: become a true friend yourself. One of my favorite quotations comes from Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Be the friend you want to have. We all tend to attract people into our lives whose character mirrors our own. You don’t have to make yourself into what you think others would find attractive.

I have friends that I can be transparent with, weak with, ugly with and at the end of the day: they are still my friend. You will know a friend by the true fact that if they are still your friend after they have seen you at your worst then you know you have a friend. Friends won’t talk about you to others in a negative way. Friends will support you (not enable you) in your endeavors. Friends will tell you when you are wrong and jacked up. Friends will be there for you even when they don’t feel like. Friends will never abuse your trust. Friends will always encourage you to do right. Friends will walk with you through the fire! How many friends do you have like that?

If you have too many friends, then your standards are low…If you have too few friends then you probably are not presenting yourself as a good friend to them. Examine your self and see where you stand!

I am reminded of the song by Whodini that says, “Friends. How many of us have them? Friends. The ones we can depend on.” The verse goes like this:

Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends
And if you ask me, you know, I couldn’t be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for being a fool
We like to be with some, because they’re funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you’re still real close too this very day
Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there’s some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends

Sound Back!

#dokechronicles

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