For some people being silent is their way of saying that I am cool with you because I didn’t go off or retaliate on you. I know our pride and personalities cause you to want to fight your battles and let folks know that you didn’t get the best of me. I have heard many people state that in order for me to keep the peace I have stayed silent or stayed away. I have heard others say that they are about to go left on someone and I had to talk them down off the ledge of committing a heinous act by “ripping them a new one!” (Whatever that means).
Silence can be beneficial in two different ways. (1) It can be good when you need to demonstrate to someone that they do not have power over your emotions. (2) It can be good when you need to suppress the urge to lash out. There is a place and a time to speak and a place and a time to keep quiet. Sometimes we can say TOO MUCH and sometimes we can say TOO LITTLE. Often times when we are saying too much is when we are speaking things that do not need to be spoken, such as: gossip, slander, negativity, hopelessness and jealousy. When we say too little it is when we should be supporting what is right, coming to the aid of someone else, speaking positive things, encouraging and hope.
The crazy thing is that we need to be silent Verbally and Non-Verbally. We need to be silent on Social Media and Off Social Media. We need to be silent when it does no good to speak. Proverbs 17:28 – Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: [and] he that shutteth his lips [is esteemed] a man of understanding.
Unfortunately we have a good example in the White House of someone who needs to learn to Keep His Mouth Shut! People tend to like his brash rhetoric and demeanor. But when your words DIVIDE and not UNITE then it is best to leave things unsaid. Psalms 141:3 – Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
As a general rule of thumb, I try to think about how many different ways what I am about to say can a person take from it. Sometimes I miss a few and some responses catch me off guard but majority of the times I am able to speak and be tactful with my words. In the book, Twelve Ordinary Men, the author stated about the Apostle James, “Zeal without restraint is dangerous!” Even when being persecuted, even when being attacked your greatest power can be your silence! If we are to follow Christ, we must imitate Him. And the Lord knew when to speak and when to Keep His Mouth Shut. Isaiah 53:7 – He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
I know we have many shortcut acronyms: KMSL (Killing Myself Laughing), SMH (Shaking My Head) and so on! My new acronym is: KMMS (Keeping My Mouth Shut!). I don’t know if that is already established but I’m going to take credit!
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I was just watching a sermon by T.D. Jakes where he talked about this very thing! That often times we talk ourselves out of a blessing and the power of the tongue. I’m an extrovert and very verbal. I have no problem speaking my mind or saying how I feel about something. This can lead to clarity and better communication or it can be destructive. Most of the time, I know which one it will lead to. It’s usually when I don’t care about the other person’s feelings that i “pop off” and say whatever. As I get older, I am trying to be more diligent at responding tactfully to adversity. Realistically though, sometimes I just need to vent! I need to say the things that are on my mind, that are upsetting me, etc. I think it is about knowing WHO you can say those things to and they don’t go any further. If I suppress everything and remain silent, EVENTUALLY, all the frustration and feelings are going to build up and explode. I can negate this effect by saying what I have to say but doing so to build the relationship, not to damage it. Just my thoughts! good post
People who talk the most are often the weakest person in a room, in my opinion. They share almost everything thing they are thinking, which results in no one hearing what they have to say when they speak of something important. I think some people should focus on being strategic in their words. As Proverbs 18:21 reads “Death And life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Great post!