There is a common culture that exist in our churches that in order to properly serve in ministry, that individual should be married. Many churches that are looking for pastors have that specific requirement in their search criteria…that the pastor MUST be married in a traditional marriage.
Many people feel as though if a pastor or leader is married it signifies wisdom for counseling, a resistance of immoral sexual behavior and a testimony to ruling their house well.
Some persons use the criteria in Timothy out of context as a requirement that an overseer or pastor must be the husband of one wife… i.e. married. But the original text says that he should be a ONE woman man! If we look at the example of Paul and Christ, neither were married and both were effective in ministry. Paul even says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that it is favorable for those who can stay single to stay single and devote themselves to the ministry. But if you cannot resist the flesh it is better to marry than to burn.
I have seen a lot of pastors who have jumped into marriage not for the sake of love but for the sake of bettering their opportunity to be appointed to a church and to advance their ministry. I believe the pressure to marry should be because God has placed the two together and not because people will feel more comfortable following a leader who is “married”. We often times place unnecessary traditions and stipulations on people and we forget that God is in control of the who, the what, the where, the when and the why of a persons ministry! Your opinion and perception of what a person should do will not enhance or detract from the anointing that God has on a person.
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Interesting post… I believe that most churches want to keep pastoral relationships as traditional as possible for the sake of pastoral management. The requirements of pastoral ministry will always be a great debate because of people’s interpretation of the Bible. You are correct, the original text does say “a one woman man”. However, let’s be honest, in today’s society, how many single pastor’s do you know, live by the original text? In addition, many churches do question how can a single pastor effectively manage a church if he can’t manage his household. 1 Timothy 3:1-7 gives the instructions with the expectation that a pastor is in fact married, a natural default if you will. As the bible states, the overseer is above reproach. A church leader’s conduct is observable. No church wants a pastor, or leader who’s conduct can bring embarrassment or shame to their church.
Yes. I agree that as a Pastor they must set a good example for the flock. My concern is that people think that being married will alleviate any risk of potential immoral behavior. I believe that it is personal and not generalized.
Marriage is not “insurance” for infidelity. It is unfortunate that some churches have that mentality.
I personally belive that a “man of God” should desire to be married if he is not married. God created woman to complete the man and I believe that a “man of God” is incomplete without his helpmeet ( wife).